dry-cereal:

dry-cereal:

dry-cereal:

once i was sick so i got a prescription for codeine cough syrup and when i went to pick it up the pharmacist was like “you really won’t need all of this” and i was like “it’s ok i could just sell it at school” and he was like “YEAAAAAAAH FUTURE PHARMACIST” and fist bumped me

ok apparently this pharmacist is my brother’s old pot dealer

his name is scooter

(Source: chilepowder)

mangerdanger:

if you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?

(Source: drarna)

lorassed:

why the fuck does vagina=weak and dick=strong
have u ever kicked someone in the dick? they fall to the floor and cry
kick someone in the vagina and i can guarantee u they’ll just punch u in the face
vagina not weak
vagina strong

weirdteenblogger:

THE BEACH ON HANNAH MONTANA WASNT REAL MY WHOLE LIFE HAS JUST BEEN ONE BIG LIE

glitteryassbutt:

tacoposey:

what if we just created a fandom for a tv show that doesn’t exist and we build it up really big and make a ton of inside jokes until the internet just accepts it as a real show and it starts getting included in polls and gets it’s own imdb page and a group of outsiders go crazy trying to find dl links

Lets do it

porkskins:

when something extremely funny happens i can guarantee you im that one friend who keeps laughing even though everybody stopped 15 minutes ago

arcticmonkies:

who even came up with the idea that people have to shave their body hair and wear makeup and change their eyebrows and be a certain weight and wear certain clothes life is so dumb stop the world i want off